Mother’s Journal – Coming to Terms

Coming To Terms Mother's Journal @harmonyfinearts

December 2015…almost over. It has been quite a year of ups and downs here at the McCoy family. The power to get back up after a difficult event comes from my Rock. The more I remember that and keep trusting that it will swing back from chaos into a more restful time, the better I endure the trial. My loving husband and children are all a part of the gift and provision from above that surrounds our family in mutual bonds of love. Sometimes it is hard to feel those bonds because of the physical distance between us but they are there.

In the past few weeks I have been spending time going through the photos from both my iPhone and my camera. Sorting through the images is like therapy. It has been a coming to terms with my situation in life.

Coming to terms.…that phrase has resonated with me lately. It really has been a time for defining what the terms or conditions of my life are now that homeschooling is long over and all four children are pretty much up and out of the house. The specifics of what to do now have been a little unclear.

It hasn’t been a terrible year for coming to terms with my situation but rather going beyond the boundaries of who I am now and finding a new normal. Not sure if “normal” is the right word because nothing seems “normal” at all.

I tried in January 2015 to come up with a word to frame my year (so many other people were doing this and it intrigued me). But once the year started, the craziness came with it and my word never was chosen. So this year, my husband and I are planning on picking words and seeing how it changes our view of our circumstances and how we deal with the life challenges that come our way. I will keep you informed of my word once it is chosen.

Back to this year. I think if I could pick a word as I look back on the events of 2015 that would help me, it would be VIEWPOINT.


Every bit of drama can be viewed in a variety of ways and looking at things from a long term how did you grow through this life changing moment viewpoint would make it all much more tolerable. To change your viewpoint makes you step outside yourself and have the ability to see things from a new perspective. Many times, I had to step into God’s viewpoint and realize he can see me struggling and that he knows the absolute best way to handle a problem or help me endure a stressful situation. Or if I was having a problem with a family member, stepping into their shoes and viewing things from their side could have helped me empathize with their feelings.


I know this is not my normal Mother’s Journal sort of entry but this topic is tied up with my feelings as a mother. This past year shoved me into a new level of mothering…the more hands off, life coach from the sidelines sort of mothering that happens when you have 20 something year old children. They don’t need me to be the band-aid mom anymore. They need me to be different….but the same too.

I’m in a stretching period of my life.

Maybe there has been something here in this entry that has helped you. If nothing else, my ramblings may remind you that when you are in the thick of being a hands on mom there is light at the end of the tunnel. Once you have emerged from the tunnel of your child’s teen years, you are going to have time to yourself again. Time to redefine what your role is in life and to stretch and grow.

Happy end of 2015 to all of my faithful and supportive readers and customers.






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