Confidence-the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something, firm trust.
This isn’t the post that I had planned for today but it woke me up in the middle of the night just daring me to get up and write it. You know those thoughts in the wee hours that rattle around and around until you have to roll over, throw the covers off, and just get up to unload the things swirling in your head.
From now until the beginning of May, my life will be filled with things that are pushing me way out of my comfort zone. There will be things that I know will test my ability as a mom to let go of children, to let go of a feeling of control.
You see as a homeschooling mom I felt a huge amount of control over what the children did each day, what they experienced, and how far I would allow them to stretch. Maybe that feeling of control was all an illusion or maybe my control was real…now I am not so sure. It may have just been a slow releasing of them out into the universe, so slowly that I didn’t realize it until it had already happened.
We nurtured in our children a trust in a greater power and purpose. They seem to have no great apprehension that the big things they are doing in their lives are part of the right path. The learning they experienced through homeschooling gave them a pattern to follow.
- Make a goal.
- Define steps to achieve the goal.
- Pray over the steps.
- Take one step at a time.
- Enjoy the ride, whether it turns out as planned or somehow the goal is refined and looking back they can see how it was touched by holy spirit and was exactly as it should have been in the first place.
Being on the sidelines, I can become a little anxious. I struggle with wanting them to stay safely at home or at least near-by. There are those middle of the night moments when I worry about all the details. But, holding onto them too tightly is not the answer. I can’t keep every bad thing from happening, no one has that power. So now is the time for me to not only talk the talk but to walk the walk and show them I have confidence in my path. They are still as young adults watching me to see how I will handle my new freedom.
I have made new goals, prayed over the goals, taken steps to achieve the goals, and now like them I need to enjoy the life that has been given to me as a gift.
Parenting is a series of readjustments in thinking. Just when you think you have it all figured out, you face a new challenge. I am drawing strength from watching the way my children are facing the world.
Middle of the night thoughts are normal for moms. It will always be our job to be concerned over our children no matter their age. That is what moms do.